A First Responder’s Retirement: The Vital Role of Friendships
/A First Responder’s Retirement: The Vital Role of Friendships
By: Kimberly Stratman
Ask most police officers, and they will affirm they have a wealth of friends. They'll often add, “We would die for each other.” This is truth and has been proven. The bonds formed between officers are unique, conceived in shared experiences, challenges and victories. These relationships, often as intimate as family ties, are created in critical moments, where reliance on each other can mean life or death. However, as officers transition into retirement, these friendships often evolve, sometimes leading to their end.
During their careers, police officers develop profound connections with their peers. These relationships are established on mutual respect, understanding and an unspoken bond that is rare in other professions. They share the physical risks and the emotional toll of their duties, fostering a camaraderie that becomes an integral part of their identity. In addition, they experience life's significant milestones together — from attending each other's weddings to celebrating the births of their children and mourning the on-duty deaths of colleagues.
Retirement often ushers in a sense of isolation as the structured support system of the workplace disappears. Even with days off and changing shifts, the officers still “worked together.” The loss of this close-knit community can be one of the most daunting aspects of retirement. After 20, 30 or even 40 years of working together, officers cannot imagine the connections ending. Thus, the unexpected realization that relationships have waned can be painful and confusing.
Relationships may end or diminish, not due to a lack of effort or desire to maintain them, but rather due to the shift from a shared daily mission to individual pursuits and lifestyles. New hobbies are explored. Family commitments can no longer be brushed aside due to “the job.” Retirees might live inconvenient distances from each other.
The end of a career doesn’t necessitate the end of these meaningful connections. Retired officers can take active steps to maintain and adapt their friendships to their new phase of life. Regular meet-ups in various parts of the town, county or metroplex encourage retirees to have coffee or a meal together. Shared hobbies can lead to fun and potential income generation. New or re-energized traditions can help recognize and preserve important bonds. Social media and technology also provide ways to stay in touch, share life updates, and continue offering mutual support. Retirees should never underestimate the value of a simple text or call saying, “hello.”
It's equally important for retirees to broaden their social circles beyond their former colleagues. First responders often retire young and have several decades of energy and vitality to enjoy. Engaging in community services, volunteering or joining groups can lead to new friendships with people who have similar interests and values, offering fresh perspectives and enhancing the retirement experience. While learning to be comfortable in non-law enforcement groups can take time and intention, the results can be life changing.
Retirement can and should be a rewarding life chapter for police officers, filled with the joy of old friendships and the excitement of new ones. Witnessing the ongoing life stories of friends and former coworkers can be fulfilling and comforting. With intention and action, the relationships that once defined their careers can evolve to define a vibrant retirement.
Kimberly Stratman retired as a Lieutenant from the Dallas Police Department after an exciting and fulfilling 30-year career. She and her husband, an active SWAT officer, have two grown sons and two dogs that get lots of attention. Kimberly is the owner of To the Point Coach, a Certified Retirement Life Coach and Certified Life Coach service that focuses on first responders. Her goal is to ensure our law enforcement community thrives. She can be reached @ tothepointcoach.org
