EMBITTERMENT EXPOSED
/By: Joel E. Gordon
While our culture appears to be turning away from a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) mindset and more toward rewarding Merit, Excellence, and Intelligence (MEI), unfortunately, those of us in government operations have frequently been exposed to a system which has often valued process considerations over merit in assignments and promotions.
Law enforcement is a calling to many that our heart and souls are beholden to. It includes a mission that we have made a spiritual commitment to for justice and in protection of our fellow man. So it could reasonably be expected that when we as individuals are passed over for earned promotions or assignments in favor of those less worthy, or in some cases those more compliant with higher ranking officials who may be working against the commitment to our mission and the greater good, that feelings of embitterment ensue.
While Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is widely recognized Post Traumatic Embitterment Disorder is lesser known. While PTSD focuses on symptoms like flashbacks and anxiety, PTED deals with persistent bitterness. Individuals may feel trapped in their anger, often leading to strained relationships and isolation.
PTED is a psychological condition marked by feelings of bitterness, cynicism, and perceived injustice following an event. Unlike other disorders, it primarily revolves around the inability to forgive and move on. This disorder can lead to emotional suffering and challenges in everyday life.
Betrayal from trusted individuals can be a significant trigger for PTED. Examples include:
• Infidelity in relationships
• Workplace bullying
• Loss under unfair circumstances
These situations, if left unaddressed, can fuel deep-rooted bitterness. Research shows that a significant number of individuals may develop PTED. It can affect personal relationships, work performance, and overall well-being. Understanding its prevalence helps to raise awareness and foster supportive environments.
Core Symptoms: Bitterness, Cynicism, and Anger
Those dealing with PTED often wrestle with:
• Deep feelings of bitterness
• A cynical outlook on life
• Chronic anger directed towards the self or others
These feelings can lead to a vicious cycle, where one’s world becomes darker and more isolating. Social interactions may become challenging for some individuals with PTED. They may withdraw from friends and loved ones, fearing judgment or misunderstanding. This isolation can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and despair.
Emotions can be complex for those with PTED, leading to:
• A pervasive sense of hopelessness
• Distrust towards others
• Difficulty in seeing positive outcomes
These symptoms often hinder recovery and the ability to form supportive relationships.
Different traumas can trigger PTED, including:
• Loss of a loved one
• Experiences of betrayal
• Long-term abuse or neglect
Each individual processes trauma uniquely, but the aftermath can often lead to bitter and harmful emotions.
Perceived injustice plays a critical role in PTED. When individuals feel wronged and do not see accountability for those actions, bitterness can fester. This feeling of injustice ties closely to the trauma experienced, intensifying the emotional struggle.
PTED vs. PTSD Key Distinctions:
• PTSD often includes flashbacks, nightmares, and severe anxiety, while PTED focuses primarily on bitterness and anger.
• PTSD may also involve hyper arousal, which is not a feature of PTED.
PTED shares symptoms with conditions like depression and anxiety:
• Hopelessness is common across all three disorders.
• However, PTED’s defining characteristic is persistent bitterness rather than generalized sadness.
If you suspect PTED, seeking a professional diagnosis is an available option. Many mental health professionals can distinguish between these overlapping conditions and recommend appropriate treatments.
Practicing mindfulness and self-compassion can also be beneficial. Simple techniques include:
• Meditation
• Journaling
• Deep breathing exercises
These practices promote awareness of thoughts and feelings, helping individuals respond more positively.
Sharing experiences with others facing similar challenges can reduce feelings of isolation and help foster connections.
Developing resilience is crucial in managing PTED. Strategies may include:
• Setting achievable goals
• Practicing gratitude
• Engaging in physical activity
These actions help enhance emotional regulation and lead to stronger coping mechanisms.
Forgiveness and Letting Go: A Path to Healing
Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing the wrongdoing but freeing oneself from the burden of bitterness. Learning to let go can be a transformative step toward healing.
Understanding PTED is a step towards healing. Recognize the symptoms, seek help, and explore coping mechanisms. Recovery is possible through knowledge, support, and self-compassion. Hope exists after trauma and injustice. By understanding Post-Traumatic Embitterment Disorder and taking proactive steps, individuals can begin their journey toward a happier, more fulfilling life. The path may be challenging, but as we as individuals and our cultural environment evolve healing is attainable for better days and nights ahead.
Joel E. Gordon, Managing Editor of BLUE Magazine, is a former Field Training Officer with the Baltimore City Police Department and is a past Chief of Police for the city of Kingwood, West Virginia. He has also served as vice-chair of a multi-jurisdictional regional narcotics task force. An award winning journalist, he is author of the book Still Seeking Justice: One Officer's Story and founded the Facebook group Police Authors Seeking Justice. Look him up at stillseekingjustice.com
