Somewhere in VERY rural Clarion County, Pennsylvania

Somewhere in VERY rural Clarion County, Pennsylvania
By: Dale Gabriel

In memory of retired Trooper Bob Maxwell, who passed recently, I am sharing this story. It is one of my earliest PSP Memories.

It has been over 34 years ago. Has it really been that long?
March 1988.

Having recently graduated from the Academy, I am within my first 30 days on the road. For those of you unaware, a new PA State Trooper rides with a "coach" for his first 30 days, then a second coach for the next 30 days. I am blessed to have had two fantastic coaches, each of whom went high up the PSP ladder down the road. Maybe, just maybe coaching me made them want to go on to bigger and better things. I was probably not a very easy student.

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They were both just good, smart, common-sense guys, which I think is the most important aspect of being a trooper. They both laid the groundwork for me becoming what I considered to be a pretty good trooper… although never in my career did I look as good as the first guy wanted me to look. Yes, I am talking about you Rob Hidinger!

At this particular time, I was with my first coach, who had like five years on the job. It had been a couple of weeks. He was off for some reason, so they put me with an old guy. A really old guy, probably older than my dad was. I don't think I had even had a conversation with him before this day.

As a young cop, you have so much to learn. The best way is to keep your mouth shut, and simply watch others. Keeping your mouth shut was very difficult for me, but I tried! The key, I found out, was to watch as many different police officers as you could, pay close attention. See how they do things, how they talk to people, how they carry themselves. There are so many different techniques used by police officers. Watch others and then develop your own way to do things. Keeping my mouth shut was always a problem for me, not just professionally, but in life. I am too quick to try and make a joke out of every situation, say something sarcastic, or feel the need to push my opinion on others. None of these things are generally good qualities for a police officer; they can all get you in trouble. I had so much to learn. Some of it, I never did learn!

So the old guy and I go out on patrol. Not really talking much. I am just not sure what to think of this senior citizen. I am wondering if I am really going to learn anything from him. I am thinking his time had obviously passed, if he was just going through the motions waiting retirement. We go to his house for our lunch break. He introduces me to his wife, though I no longer remember her name. One thing I am sure of, her name was not "Phyllis."

Being the jovial guy that I am, I think this might be a good time for a joke. "Hi, nice to meet you, I am Gabe. I thought your name was Phyllis, That's who Max has been talking about all day." And with that, dead silence. Then, she goes ballistic! She starts yelling at Max. He starts yelling at me and telling me to stop lying wanting to know, "Who put me up to that." I am lost. I have no idea what is going on. After I finally get them to calm down and realize I was joking, I find out that Phyllis was Max's ex-wife, who is still a thorn in their sides, and a VERY sore subject with his current wife. Note to self for future. Never ever mention phyllis again and keep mouth shut!

So, we finish our meal and go back on patrol. It is pretty frigid in the car after this lunch fiasco. No conversation whatsoever. The next four hours are going to seem like an eternity. We get dispatched to meet a woman who is having some kind of dispute with an ex-boyfriend. We travel to her location and drive up a long driveway to a total dump, which is located right next to a creek. There is junk all over. Old abandoned cars. All I can think of is the movie "Deliverance." I was waiting for the banjos to start playing and looking for Burt Reynolds to pop out somewhere. (Unfortunately, I know that many of you reading this will have no idea what I am talking about. --Take this as a sign to find and watch "Deliverance." You will not be disappointed.)

Now back to the story. Max knocks on the door, and a lady yells out, "Come on in. It's open." But it wasn't. It was a screen door, and it was locked. She yelled out again. Max told her the door was locked. She tells us to just push our way through the slit in the screen. The door had one large screen in it, with a slice up the middle. Really? Max squeezed through. I followed.

We made our way toward her, in pursuit of the sounds of her voice, zigzagging through all the garbage in her house. At that time, I am a 24-year-old, single kid who had lived a guarded, protected life to that point. It was the first time in my life that I had ever been inside a house like this. The first of many. I did not understand it then, but I realize now that this woman was a hoarder, among other things.

Continuing to make our way to the sound of her voice, we round a corner into what turned out to be her kitchen, her dirty, disgusting, nasty kitchen. I am trying to tactfully hold my nose. It took everything I had not to gag or throw up. How is Max able to just stand right there and talk to her? She is sitting in a chair at her table, surrounded by garbage, plates of moldy food, dirty dishes. I had never seen anything like this before. Do people actually live like this? She is a rather large woman wearing granny panties. Just granny panties and nothing else. She is holding a baby. Her large, sagging breasts are hanging down. She is trying to breastfeed the baby. I cannot take my eyes off of her, but only in the same way you have to rubberneck when driving past an accident scene, or must try to see as much as you can at some sort of tragedy.

I have to admit, I was a bit flustered taking it all in. Very flustered! I honestly could not tell you a word she said. Max had his notebook out, gathering the information while she spoke. Suddenly, she starts yelling at the baby for not eating, as she continues to breastfeed him. She squeezes her breast and squirts some milk on the baby's face. She rubs it around. I am beginning to wonder what the hell kind of job I had gotten myself into.

She grabs the baby's head and forces her breast into its mouth and proclaims. "If you don't want it, I'll give it to the troopers." To which Max holds his arm straight out with his hand protruding in a "stop" gesture, and exclaims, without ever breaking stride, "No thanks, Ma'am, we just had lunch."

At that point, I realized that I could learn a lot from this old man.

Rest in peace Max.

Dale Gabriel is a retired patrol and community services officer with the Pennsylvania State Police. After 25+ years of service, in retirement, he has been working on a book of his many PSP memories. He also coaches a baseball team in a Miracle League for those with special needs. He holds a communication degree with English minor from Saint Vincent College in Western Pennsylvania.