Road Sign: Judgers Ahead: How to Stay A Step Ahead Mentally.
/By Anthony Mikatarian
Mark Twain once said: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
Lao Tzu once said: “He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.”
These are some of the positive quotes that resonate the fact that who you surround yourself with will both influence who you are and will reflect to others who you are as an individual. It's a constant life struggle finding pure and beneficial relationships that will be your foundation for a fruitful life and a sound wellbeing. Conversely, surrounding yourself consciously or subconsciously with people who are disruptive and harmful can and probably will destroy your mind, spirit and even your physical health. This may also create a negative ripple effect extending into other areas of your personal and professional lives. Navigating this interpersonal road both professionally and personally is not easy and you will at times get burned. However, as you mature and experience life, you get better at it.
With this said, I want to focus in on those relationships and environments you find yourself engaged in that make you feel constantly uneasy and chronically judged, which is either said to your face or the very common behind your back.
Generally, these feelings are connected to the unfortunate societal backdrop of being excessively exposed to deceitful and purposely harmful judgers, which will happen in our lives. A chronic exposure to these masters of facades, who will come to you both personally and professionally, can be quite detrimental to your mind, soul and physical health in the long run. Unfortunately, you will experience these unsavory judgers throughout your life. Their mission is to have you feeling unclear and unsure about yourself. They want your head spinning with doubt, fear of failure, insecurity, non-worthiness and other negative tones. They want to crack your proud foundation. They present themselves with a lot of gray in order to muddy your perception on how you can correctly act in order to feel admired, appreciated and accepted by them. This constant judging behavior I’ve found can be fueled by their own insecurities, hatred, jealousy, dirty tactics against peers, ignorance, narcissism, sick gratification and/or other misguided motivators.
These frauds set up illusions for you to believe that you are on the right path, while all along purposely sabotaging you along the way by feeding you lies about goals for yourself, which they know are really meant to be unachievable or when you are close to achieving that goal, they alter that goal for you to start all over again to keep you in perpetual limbo. They might even calculate sending you mixed signals to keep you frustrated and guessing. They also may perhaps utilize the beloved dangling carrot tactic of promised reward to string you along.
It is quite easy to first buy into these masters of selling unrealistic promises, goals and rewards, but it is important to recognize them, so you can defend against putting yourself in a vulnerable and exploited state.
There are many lurking judgers out there looking for the vulnerable targets to sell them the counterfeit promises of reward to harm them, control them and to use them for their solely selfish benefit. There are some narcissists and egomaniacs, who do this because they love the feeling of power and delusional self importance. Then there are those attention seekers who constantly judge the good and bad in you in a weird attempt to win over your attention. Don't forget about the insecure and threatened ones, who utilize this in order to break you down.
It is my belief that chronic judging behavior is generally motivated from extreme self-centeredness. Everyone is at some degree self-centered, which is natural. You as a reasonable person must conclusively gauge within your own consciousness the acceptable level of self-centeredness. This is a common sense approach based on our life experiences. When you decipher who the chronic unreasonable judger is, you don't ask "What am I doing wrong?" you really ask "What is wrong with the judger?" When that is answered, then gravitate toward those who share the same level of treatment and concern for others as you do. If you are forced to be around the judgers who negatively infringe on your wellbeing, develop a selective ear and limit your exposure to them as best you can. This can be tricky in a work environment filled with peers, subordinates, supervisors and administrative authorities, who can be notorious chronic judgers. You can't regulate all the judging noise, but you can control the amount of reasonable noise you let in that you feel will benefit your time, improve you and nurture your well being. Especially, in our profession practically all become judgers of each other. Just remember who it is coming from, why it's coming, what their true intentions are and if it has any valued substance to it.
Always stay a step ahead mentally.
Stay strong and God Bless...
