DESPAIR AND BLUE SUICIDE

By: Daniel Del Valle and George Beck, Ph.D.

Despair — the complete loss or absence of hope — is what you see on our cover. This tragic scene plays continuously every day in our profession — the facts and situations are similar — the main difference, perhaps, is only the jurisdiction where it occurs. Nearly every officer knows this scene and some have seen the fatal aftermath up close. Many have seen signs and indicators of an officer in crisis and chosen to ignore them for whatever reasons. Some may have been the officer in the image holding that pistol to your temple. That's the reality. It's not comfortable to discuss, but to pretend like it's not true is not helping end Blue Suicide. We must have an open conversation. 

There are many causes of despair, some of which we will discuss here. First and foremost, the stigmas involving an officer's mental health are perhaps the most significant contributor to despair because stigmas block officers from getting the necessary help. If getting help was seen as a positive objective and not some 'broken officer mentality' that alone would go a long way toward lessening despair and reducing Blue Suicide. As the years go by, progress is made to eliminate mental health stigmas. However, we would only be fooling ourselves if we believed we have solved this issue.

Despair is also the result of many personal problems that officers can face. Spousal and family issues, financial issues, addictions, and depression are among the top contributing factors leading to suicidal deaths. Although these "secrets" in an officer's life are sometimes cloaked behind a forced smile, changes in behavior patterns are not hidden. For example, if an officer who is routinely punctual starts to come in late and use a lot of sick time, asking the officer if everything is okay can go a long way. Show the officer you genuinely care about their wellbeing and take a positive step to help the officer if needed. Be vigilant for other changes in behavior, and when something is not right, act. Don't wait until it's too late. It is far better to have an officer alive even if he or she is mad at you, than to allow them to make the ultimate mistake.

Despair can also come from job stress. How many times have we heard of an officer facing some form of disciplinary action commit suicide? There are many reasons disciplinary actions result—some of which are the direct result of the officer's actions—other times from the abuse and exploitation of the internal affairs bureau leveraging the guidelines for political expediency. Take, for example, the abhorrent unethical internal affairs officer who mails in that "anonymous" letter making an allegation against a good officer and then investigates it only to make the bogus claim somehow legit. Of course, there are processes to address this, but at that point, the targeted officer can face the reality of despair. Other job stresses that lead to despair involve co-workers or supervisors harassing an officer. Law enforcement is rife with megalomaniacs who get supervisory positions of power and influence and tend to believe that gives them ownership over subordinates' lives. As you are reading this, you probably already have the image of that supervisor in your mind. These lunatics with badges forgot where they came from and don't deserve the leadership responsibility.

So what can officers do when they or another officer is in crisis and feeling that lonely despair? Act. Commit to working toward making a positive change. If that includes going to a supervisor that an officer trusts, make that move. It may seem uncomfortable at first, but your bravery to act at that moment will be worth it. Also, seek a professional mental health expert who is trustworthy and knowledgeable. There are plenty of mental health professionals out there who have the experience and ability to help an officer out of a crisis. Put yourself and your mental health first. Commit to making your health your highest priority. And finally, don't make the ultimate mistake. There is hope.

Don’t Make the Ultimate Mistake: There is Hope
By: George Beck, Ph.D.

“I am sorry. I love you. You’re not going to have to deal with me anymore,” was the last text message a New Jersey detective sent to his wife during Christmas of 2018. 

The detective shut his cellphone off and drove toward a remote place where he would end his life. The area was a picturesque mountainous spot that overlooked the hustle of New Jersey life. Was it the peacefulness of this area that drove him there? The silence would soon be shattered with a gunshot that would echo through the mountains, a final call from a cop who had reached his breaking point. 

But the events that led up to the detective’s intended last day were not sudden. Years of alcohol abuse, compounded with the stress of the job, had caught up with him. He carried around falsehoods, thinking he was a failure, a weak link. He wrongly believed his coworkers hated him for his personal shortcomings — that his bosses despised him, and even the members on his SWAT team abhorred him. It was hard to look them in the eye because he was embarrassed and hated himself.  However, he showed up to work every day, shook hands, and faked the “I am OK” smile that many officers have perfected better than even the best Hollywood actors could. He had the traditional family, the big house, the white picket fence. On the surface, he looked like an American dream success story. Yet, behind the façade of a muscle-bound, stately man, who on the outside looked like a physical symbol of strength, he was in deep, dark despair.

Back home, the New Jersey detective’s wife and children had no idea how the specific frantic final moments of his life were unfolding. But his wife called the police — one of the most challenging things a family member can do because of the potential ramifications that come with it. That phone call for help in many departments can be career-ending. Who would pay the bills if the officer’s gun and badge were taken away while the departmental leadership moved to remove the “broken” officer from the force? To deny that mental health stigmas, coupled with poor departmental leaders, can sometimes cause more problems for the officer is foolish. The reality is these kinds of departmental failures lead officers physically to cliffs where there are no other options but suicide. This is a conversation had by many in law enforcement seeking to combat blue suicide, but it’s moving slowly.

Each year more officers kill themselves by their own hand than from being killed in the line of duty. The most common suicide method is with their handgun.  Researchers agree this is simply because officers have readily access to firearms. Many signs lead up to the suicide that officers routinely speak of after the death occurred. Yet while the officer is alive, depression and mental health issues are often shunned. Also, nobody wants to be that officer who sounds the alarm on his brother or sister.

Sadly, many cops and departmental cultures still believe police officers signed up for a life that would intimately bring them up close to tragedy — the horrific deaths of children, the horrid screams of victims that replay over and over in officer’s minds even years later, and that officers should become emotionally hardened to be effective cops. It’s the old par for the course mindset that hey you chose this profession, now deal with it. This systemic archaic mindset affords very little — if any at all training — on emotional health, hardly any requirements that put an officer in touch with mental health professionals for periodic checkups, and a culture that tends to shun officers who are considered weak. However, after thousands of officer suicides, the reality is our thinking and actions on this subject are wrong.

In the moments that led to the New Jersey detective’s intended final breath, he made one last move. Perhaps it was divine intervention that caused him to turn his cellphone back on. When he spoke to his wife, he realized he was exposed and entered into an alcohol and mental health treatment program that would change the direction of his life. He was saved, but with intense anger at that moment because he believed his life would no longer include law enforcement. However, sometimes as difficult as it is to see in these desperate moments, there is hope

After a 3-day blackout period at a treatment facility, the detective was allowed to again use his cellphone. He turned it on and found over 150 text messages from his coworkers who reached out to let him know they supported him. He was surprised.  Upon returning home from treatment, he went to his chief’s office, expecting to be terminated but found a leader with compassion who was committed to providing the best opportunity for him. The detective was stunned and then emotionally broke down in the chief’s office. The chief did what all chiefs should do in this situation — he led his officer back to become a competent and productive employee living a content life. The detective found his niche. While he’s not working his cases, he helps others who find themselves in similar dark situations.

For this detective, he learned had he pulled the trigger on that mountain during Christmas of 2018, it would have been the ultimate mistake.  This detective’s story is one of hope that all of us in law enforcement need to hear. Too often when we speak of blue suicide we hear of the harsh statistics and the gory details of the final suicidal act that supposedly stunned everyone. We hear of the tragic loss and learn of what drove the officer to make the ultimate mistake. We need more stories of hope. For everyone reading this that is in a dark place, know there is hope and the ability to overcome whatever adversities you are facing are possible. You are worth it.

As we look forward to 2021, let’s prioritize mental health in law enforcement. Let’s work toward success stories like the one featured here. Success is possible if our profession is willing to have honest and open conversations.

Stay tuned for more Blue Suicide events featured through our partnerships with Moment of Silence, Inc., and others. Together we can and will overcome blue suicide.